Most of you guys and girls already know me for 2 months and a bit. I’m the creator and owner of Steampunk and I have many other buildings on my name.
I’ve decided to create this post to tell more about myself en why I do things since most people don’t understand me.
I’m 20 years old and have had very much trouble with school.
Since the start of 2013 I have psychiatrist, psychologist and a Job Coach. After a good amount of conversations with people it came out that I was very depressed and social withdrawn. I started sessions and got antidepressant medications. ( which are going good now)
I’m a very shy and scared person of what other people think of me or if I am good enough for others. I’ve always had the feeling I had to be the best to feel happy and I sometimes hate myself for trying too hard to be the best and letting others fall or judge them.
I messed up my exam 4 times already and I got lost what I should do with myself because in the end it looked as if nothing matters. I also got bullied for 5 years straight just because I cry fast ( even when I’m angry)
I’m very emotional so I can change my mood in an instant from happy to very angry. I also make very bad decisions sometimes because unable to think clear and sometimes when I want to say something I say it wrong and it gets misunderstood.
There is right now the problem that I take down players on the server and battle them without saying “You wanna pvp?” this happens a lot because I mostly think that the other finds it funny which of course isn’t right.
I am sorry for all the people I tried to take down. I try my best to watch my emotions and my stupid behavior.
but I still ask to not take my actions too serious sometimes and if you want me to stop just say it out loud or I won’t get it.
Thank you for reading all this.
For me writing this down and reading opinions about is a good learning lessons.
I think your extremely brave to write all this down Yomi I am still dealing with depression, and have recently over come my social anxiety and agoraphobia. Its nice to know that others deal with similar situations if you ever need to talk about similar stuff I’m sure I can help in some form.
Hope for the best in the future.
You have my respect for posting this. I never take things too seriously on the server, but if you challenge me to a battle, don’t expect me to not fight back
Myself, I’m an introvert so I prefer being by myself unless I know the people I’m with well, and know I can hold a decent conversation. I don’t add things to discussion unless I think I have anything valid to add which can make me seem a bit socially awkward at times. I also spend way too much time on my computer wasting time, but I like playing games, listening to music etc on my own. Might seem weird, but I can keep myself company just fine.
BUT things change. I used to be much more awkward with people than I am now. Things might change for you also, try and look at the best side of things. The “make the best of a bad situation” trick. As Ronnie said, best of luck with the future
I think i’m an introvert too! o_O That’s weird, cuz i act just like that with people.
Anyways. It’s pretty cool you posted this Yomi. Takes guts to come out about stuff like that
When I was younger I was highly above my class in intellect, they found out I was in the top 2% of people in the state of Texas when it comes to IQ(Meaning I have an insanely high IQ). They found out, after some tests, that I pretty much had an “Overclocked” brain when it comes to analyzation, meaning I can analyze scenarios in a fraction of the time people can( This has its ups and downs). The first years of Elementary school were fine up until about 3rd grade. From there I was bullied until 9th grade, had no friends , and gradually becoming more and more of an Introvert. I mainly played video games and guitar after 8th grade. Sometime in between my 9th and 10th grade summer, I had some sort of event happen to me( I do not remember what), and from then on I changed drastically. I had an aptitude to study, to learn, to achieve. To be the best at anything I could be. I’ve taken the hardest classes I can in my highschool(And because of this I got away from people that bullied me, and started to be with people of higher intellect.), am taking college courses as an undergrad, and on my way to getting a Web Developers Certificate before I even graduate. After that, I plan on getting my Computer Science degree.
I’m just going to say this for anyone else that’s out there, no one out there is alone. No matter who you are, what you look like, how you speak, how you feel. There is someone out there, somewhere in the world that we walk on, that can relate to you, that can understand you.
Hmmm, Out of all the place to find a very serious post I would never expect it on the forums, respect to all you people for being brave enough to share your story. I might look like a dumb silly kid on PCB but if needed i can be extremely serious and a good person to talk to. Also if your expecting a story from me, i don’t find it needed for a post because its same as everyone elses: Bullied young, not many friends, video games, nerd, radaradarada same old, same old. And yes I’m extremely smart but don’t use it in interwebs cause that is my break from reality.
This has been pretty amazing. When I read the title, I was expecting some kind of confession about a true identity. Instead, I get a very deep self analysis. Thank you for sharing Yomi. You are very welcome here.
I too suffer from depression and I know what youre going through… My stories is for a different time tho. Its tough and if you ever need to talk, youve got a friend in me <3
Honestly IF i tried in school, Id be incredibly smart. Or id make it look that way. Tbh, I could give a rats ass about school. I just dont have the energy nor the patience for it. Id rather be making web designs or playing instruments.
Im mainly an introvert and cant keep a conversation for 10 seconds and thats mainly why i try to do videos for youtube. I actually hate talking to my computer for recording purposes in front of people unless its co-op stuff.
I actually hate talking in general…
Well i have more depression and suicide attempt stories that are gonna be kept to myself because you all would think im bipolar or something…
Otaku friends are cool. Sharing what you love with people who also love it is one of the best things in life. I would say several of us would count as otaku, and I mean that in the American version of the word.
To this day, I have yet to meet an otaku I hated. Sure, you can disagree on lots of things, but you know they understand your passion. There are many kinds of otaku, they are basically people obsessed with one hobby or other. I was really referring to anime otakus, but it could apply to any type.
I guess this is a perfect time to share myself and actions. I would like to state that my mother’s side of family is extremely controlling and very very aggressive. But I inherited my father’s mother’s lax nature which causes me to be super bipolar. This is only activated if I do something and people openly judge me. This was proven through my fight with ReineiiTori. Which I assume full responsibility. Plus I am the black sheep of my family and high school which causes me to be bullied by the jocks. I am an extrovert so if I feel something is up i will tell you.
Thank you Yomi for opening this discussion it feels good to get it off my chest.
Honestly its a bit old but i suppose it doesnt matter. Its where we can all get stuff off our chests and have most of the community know and get to learn everyone a bit better
Wow Yomi I thinks its amazing that you said that and told us and I truly respect you even more now but let me tell you something. This is going to sound cheesy and everything but it does get better.
For me no one knew but I got really depressed. I Hid it with a fake smile and no one really knew. Mum kind of guessed since I almost ran away from home a couple of times. I had been bullied all through primary school and when things started to get a little hard at home and things weren't looking so good at school things got bad for me.
This caused me to be introverted and shy but I made this decision to be different and show those who bullied me that hey you pushed me down thinking you were the best but now look at me. After that happened I made a close group of friends I told everything.
I found having something in my life that forced me out of my comfort zone changed me because now I easily make friends, my school grades are good and I don't even care what people think.
I don’t want to rub it peoples faces or make people feel bad or anything but the reason I said it was because I understand a little even though it wasn’t as bad for me and any clumsy, shy, quiet, self loathing girl like I was can become the outrageously loud, friendly (still clumsy) girl I am now.
