I WANT KITTYS!!!
I love that you guys put in the ender dragon and a rock. I was not going to include hostile mobs like a rock. But everyone does love a pet enderdragon!
@Sacreddeathflame
I read titties.
I would pick a penguin but there was no option.So the closest thing to a penguin is of course a pig.
Unless you’re offering yourself as a pet to people. But that does make you sound like a whore.
…Mk
A fluffy bunny called Tiddlefluff.
Have you seen Mr Seal where the minotar used to be?
Pen is a whore… Didn’t you know?
and LOL, who added Shad as a pet?!
The best pet? A cow. Now, I know what your thinking. “Shut the fuck up Jape, thats udder bullshit, and you know it.”
And sure, I get you, its a cow. No thrills, it goes moo. But that’s not it. You want milk? Guess what. It’s got motherfucking milk. You want some leather? Damn right. Kill this fucker and you got leather. You want to eat some shit? Fuck yes you do. Burn his ass until you can smell the grass inside his stomach boil, and baby you got dinner.
You want wool? Fuck you, no you don’t. You want feathers? You want to get out of my sight before i beat your ass in. Cow’s are the best. You have got wayyy moo-re things you can do with them. What’s this? You want to have sex with your pet? Hell, if you want to have sex with a damn pet in the first place its hardly weirder to make that pet a cow.
You ever seen someone ride a horse or a pig? I Haven’t. Cause I don’t look at wastes of oxygen. Riding cows is the superior mode of transport. What’s that? “Hurr durr, you can’t ride cows Jape, that’s impossible.” You know what else is impossible? You to stop bitching, or at least thats what it seems like.
Not interested? I’ll beat you to death with my potions of poison. Your feathers and ink sacs wont save you now. You better run on friend. These cows are a forced to be reckoned with. Atilla rode these into battle and killed julius caesar twice with them. The Byzantines put armour on these and charged into the ottomans as if they were things that are easy to charge into. The British Light cow brigade wasn’t shot as soon as it charged, cause it was the mootherfucking cow brigade.
And look at you rock plebs. What can a rock do? Huh? Name one thing. Hint: You can’t. I can name every use of a cow in history. You want to know, I can tell you. A rock? Shit, I’ve studied geology my whole life, and I can’t think of any time a rock got up and done something important. Maybe one hit somebody once, that’s it.
So yep, cows are the best thing ever. If you try to argue your an idiot. That’s that. I used fuck a lot.
Gets out note pad and pen
Makes note The Scottish fuck cows. NOT sheep.
Puts note pad and pen away
the scottish also fuck up cow haters
just saying
The Scottish fuck up anyone and everyone because they’re fucking Scottish.
Best pitch for any pet ever.
Studies show that individuals who do not vote for Enderdragon are more susceptible to intense pain, blinding agony, and soul consumption. Vote Enderdragon Today!
Aha, I totes am saerahe
A brand new scientific study on 3 dead cows showed that people who do not vote Squid have a 7474883% higher chance of:
[ul][li]Amnesia[/li]
[li]Enlarged Breasts (In men only)[/li]
[li]Immortality[/li]
[li]Hallucinations of Justin Bieber dancing 2 feet in front of you. 24/7, even whilst your eyes are shut[/li]
[li]Loss of all senses[/li]
[li]Vomiting bricks[/li]
[li]Your entire face falling off[/li]
[li]Random limbs falling off at random times[/li]
[li]Inability to not like blood (Vampirism)[/li]
[li]Turning into Miley Cyrus, including inability to avoid licking every object and breaking into building sites.[/li]
[li]Aches and Pains in all of your joints[/li]
[li]The ear tubes inside of your head being dissolved by the Material Emancipation Grid[/li]
[li]Believing you are a unicorn[/li]
[li]Becoming addicted to My Little Pony[/li]
[li]pH 14 Urine[/li]
[li]pH 0 blood[/li]
[li]Falling asleep at random points, except when you lie in bed[/li]
[li]Increased chance of pregnancy (men only)[/li]
[li]Getting bought by Microsoft[/li]
[li]Being DMCAd by Wesley Wolfe[/li]
[li]Becoming your own mother[/li]
[li]Becoming your own sister[/li]
[li]Growing an extra limb, every day, for the next ten years.[/li][/ul]
And some guy who’se my friend’s cousin’s uncle’s gardener’s wife’s great-great-great-great grandfather’s great-great-great-great nephew told me you’ll get all of them.
too bad cows are better
if you dont vote for cows you’ll just die
Jape, if you don’t vote for an octopus you’ll get all of that for the rest of your life.
Please note: A correction has been issued to the paper, you will no longer die, but become immortal. So you’ll experience all of those things for all eternity.